RED: The Color of Intense, Brief Life

The hibiscus flower and its short life reminds me that all life is brief as are all experiences.

Hibiscus  is a relatively common flower that I've encountered in California and other places in the United States. However, in Puerto Rico the Hibiscus is the Flower of Puerto Rico and has some differences from the common flower I've seen elsewhere. They grow to a smaller size than elsewhere and are individual single flowers supported by a long leafy base. Nevertheless, I consider all of these tropical flowers wherever they are grown to be delightful. Knowing that the bud will open one morning into a flower that will last but one day, does not detract from their beauty. In fact, when the potted hibiscus blooms on the porch (as it did this morning), I remind myself to delight in this moment because in 24 hours this bloom will close and be gone forever. Isn't that an important reminder about all life and experience?


I'm reminded by the Hibiscus to appreciate the beauty of all life experience because each event is here now, and never will return in the same way. For example, our children are only young for a short time.  When the two year old innocence is gone, it is replaced by another version of that same child. Every stage of growth is wonderful and awful knowing that it will be experienced as both a blessing and another loss. The nostalgia you feel when looking at your children's childhood photographs provides evidence that this is true.

We have to learn to love, appreciate deeply, and then let go and move on to embrace the next moment.

Every difficult moment has it's own life expectancy, too. We should cultivate observing the gift in this transitory moment regardless of judgement. Breathe and notice.  This skill requires attention and a willingness to experience each moment in all of its thrilling (or frightening) beingness.

The hibiscus flower and its short life reminds me that all life is brief as are all experiences. It is indeed important to know this fact and to confront forgetfulness - to remember, I am alive. You are alive. What are we waiting for?  

Let us embrace this moment!

Art on Pause

Headlines: Life Changes Cause Chaos!

Dear Art,

Greetings! Just a quick note to tell you that I haven't forgotten about you. It's just that my workspace is covered in papers - a circumstance that signifies that I'm overwhelmed with the changes I'm undergoing.

In short, my son has moved out and there is a mess all over the floor from what remains to be moved. Physical (and emotional) disarray has been left behind. All is well! I will be parachuting back in soon. Don't forget about me!

Sincerely,

Cynthia

Becoming Visible: Time and Color Gradation

One recent Saturday at the Esquela Artes Placticas in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, I encountered the concept of color gradation. The painting exercise we practiced was to take a color and mix it with white or black until an ever lightening or deepening shade results. While mixing and studying the color change, I reflected on how color represents time and that the subtle color variations are like moments in life. Most of the time we are not aware of subtle shifts in color. Green is green. Red is red. Blue is blue. Time is like that too because we notice that it's the morning, afternoon, and night. However, when a color is mixed with white or black in varying degrees subtle shades become visible. It is clear that green is a myriad of possible greens. Red and blue are potentials of color in which to dive! Our awareness of time is similar to our awareness of color in that we don't usually remember the moment. Anyone who has practiced present moment awareness knows this shift in perception. If you've gone on a mindfulness retreat, you know what I mean. Even the slogan Just Breath is a focusing practice that brings you into yourself so that you become aware of the real moment.

I remember a practice that I learned from reading G. I. Gurdjieff that is called (self) remembering, which is at any moment you turn your attention back on yourself and realize something such as, "Hey, I'm here. I'm alive." It's a practice of noticing that you are in existence. This self-remembering changes your daily experience of time.  I have practiced this technique on and off for years but at one time I consciously dedicated my focus to self-remembering for many daily moments for several months. What I discovered is that it altered my perception of time and my feeling of a solid boundary between my body and the space around it. Most of us experience time and life in chunky ways that are carefully divided by daily (and seasonal) routine.  We break it up every day into pieces such as waking up, eating, going to work, exercising, and  sleeping. The routine defines how we experience time.

For most of us, it is only when an event occurs that breaks our daily pattern do we shift in our awareness of time. Consider an unexpected event to your normal routine; for example, the arrival of an out of town guest. Suddenly you find yourself actively engaged in lively conversation at a restaurant well into the evening. It's past your bedtime!  You're so engaged in the moment that you forget all about your routine and your strategy of life management that organizes life into predictable chunks of experience. These occurrences let you know that time and pattern are constructs that make your life manageable but also invisible.  Unconscious routine can obscure gradations of color. However, a person's ordinary engagement with time can shift by consciously practicing various techniques. To illustrate, the method of periodically focusing on your breath can help you become aware of time and thereby, shift your ability to see, know and engage in more subtle ways. Try the self-awareness exercise below and pace it to your ever slowing and deepening breath.

I am here. I breathe. I am filled. I am empty. Inhale. Exhale. A moment. A string of moments. I am in life. I am life. Breathe.

Certainly the experience of breathing is ordinary but the awareness of breathing is another thing altogether. Conscious breathing can deepen your contact with a non-ordinary experience of life. Just as color has degrees and shades within what is normally classified as GREEN; time has degrees and shades that are made visible by strategies of consciously remembering.

Each moment is a prism of quiet vibrancy.

People have asked me that [what is the experience of inner awareness] before, and I always feel that they expect to hear the dramatic account of some sudden miracle through which I suddenly became one with the universe. Of course nothing of the sort happened. My inner awareness was always there; though it took me time to feel it more and more clearly; and it equally took time to find words that would at all describe it.

~~ Krishnamurti.

Color Gradations with 20 steps:  Complementary, Monochromatic, and Analogous Demonstrations

Tourist or Traveler? A Room With A View

Art: On Being Brave

CAT DREAMING OF FISH in OLD SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO

 Sculpture by Jorge Zeno: "LA NAVE DE LOS PINGUINOS"

Last Saturday after art class I had an undefinable and unsettled feeling. What is this about? I stopped at Treasures in Old San Juan to talk with the design connoisseur and shop owner, Sonia.  I told her how I felt disappointed with my art work that day and she asked me, "Are you getting a grade or something?" It made me realize that my standard for work has little to do with outside approval but more with inside resonance.
I think I was displeased because I failed to meet my own expectations, i.e., I didn't take risks. We were doing color studies and the idea of form and space was loosely addressed by four exercises.
My inspiration was blocked and I could only think of color rather than form.

Çolor moving all over the page...like water or a forest...

I painted backgrounds rather than a foreground images. What was that about? I worried that I wasn't being brave. Trust the process and not the product...go with it...sigh...

I love that "Bubbly" feeling and childlike sense of wonder that erases all sense of risk.
Here I am back to the page, brush in hand, ...armed with a little inspiration courtesy of Colbie Caillat :

Escuela de Artes Plasticas en Viejo San Juan

Day Tripping!

Just a little note to encourage you to visit this incredible art school. The fact that it was once an insane asylum just makes it all the more interesting!

The official description of the school informs the reader that the school was "once"and insane asylum,"Our main campus is located in the 19th century Old Insane Asylum on the Moro Castle grounds."

I wonder if there was a connection between the former and present clientele- er- all the cats and myself not excluded!!?  It's true that the cats around the school attend art class. Here's one who is just leaving her basic painting class.

Cat in ART Class

This orange kitty is on a break. Painting long hours can be so tiresome!

A tour of the "Escuela de Artes Plasticas,Viejo San Juan" can be viewed here:

See you in the halls...

 

Color Wheel: Spinning Wheels Must Go Round

REVISITING EARLY DREAMS

I had my first painting class last Saturday at the Escuela de Artes Plasticas de Puerto Rico. 

It was a class on color theory. I arrived for the first class two weeks ago and the start date was postponed until the next Saturday. I arrived on the next Saturday and discovered that the professor was absent. By the third class, I expected that we might not have class or maybe some other changes could occur. Perhaps the room location would be changed? (Ah, life in Puerto Rico!) It's okay though. I did not mind the changes because they gave me more time to become accustomed to the routine of driving to Old San Juan, which involves finding parking, figuring out how long it takes to walk to the classroom and of course (for me the essential information),  locating the nearest place to have a cup of coffee. More importantly, I had time to deal with the stress of revisiting the old dream of studying art. 

I'm in a period of life called "the redo" as in the common expression, "I want a do-over!" This "redo" does not include everything done in life (meaning regrets) but rather what was not done, which could also, but not necessarily, mean regrets. This understanding signifies that I realize that it's hard (if not impossible) to do everything in one life.

I highly recommend that you revisit your early dreams. At some point in life, I think everyone should take a look at the remaining memory-bits of their earlier choices (and their consequences) and try to re-construct them. Asking questions such as:

What did I decide? What were the consequences? 

What choices led to the life I am living now?  How would I like to shift the current direction of my life? 

Periodically, we should give ourselves permission start again. In order to have a happy and satisifying life, it's essential to avoid heavy regrets about life decisions. It's so easy to say, "It's too late."  How many people look back and say, "I wanted to be an/a __________(artist, singer, dancer, musician, pilot, actor or?) and my __________ (parents, husband, school counselor, children, fear, logic, or?) made me choose _______(business, teaching, homemaking, and so on). We all make decisions that blame circumstances (such as the preceding) or ourselves and we accept that their direct consequences; however, we don't always know that, in fact, many times we did not decide. We delayed our decision so long that the choice no longer was visible.

We don't realize that not deciding is also a decision.

On a personal note, I don't think I'm alone when I say that many artistic people find themselves in non-artistic fields just because they did not choose. Certainly, we can argue that our creativity has been put to use in another "more practical" career; nevertheless, that earlier desire often demands our attention. It can still push retired people, for example, to take dance, voice, pottery, modeling class or to show up for an audition at the local community theater. What I'm suggesting is that this "foolish" behavior is worth it and nudging you to start now. Don't wait until you have the time. Further, this choice to actively engage the remnants of the earlier less encumbered  you, can awaken the memory of wonder, i.e., the ability to appreciate and experience unencumbered joy.

Be warned! Making the choice to revisit your lost dreams causes mental and emotional turmoil. For example, for the last few weeks  my nighttime dreams have been influenced by symbols of that earlier time in life (and the earlier me) where I changed from being a carefree idealist to a "poser" pragmatist. I choose the word "poser" because those who genuinely know me realize that I remain an idealist. You might say that I suffer from  a Pollyanna-ish optimism and try my hardest to keep her under cover. I'm a look for the silver-lining kind of person. Indeed, I force myself to squarely deal with the dreaded practical problems all of us encounter in ordinary life. It's fine. I have no problem with keeping my feet on the ground. However, I know that a real emotional/psychological breakthrough can be made by jumping out of an airplane- of course wearing a parachute! (I did that!) And if that experience was one of your early dreams, you don't actually have to jump out of an airplane but just engage the dream  and at least (below) play with a parachute (photo credit). Or maybe go zip-lining? (I want to do that!)

 

My homework assignment is met with some anxiety. Recreate (with acrylic paints) the color wheel using the three primary colors yellow, red, and blue (photo credit).

It has to be exactly 15 inches in diameter and "look pretty." How do I do that? Below is what the homework assignment should look like...

 

Only, a reasoning and/or creative person must be aware that the brushed in and home-mixed colors might not behave! I am a novice but at least I'm choosing how to spin my wheels. I wonder what kind of dreams I will have tonight? 

 

  "Spinning Wheels" by Blood, Sweat and Tears

 
What goes up must come down
spinning wheel got to go round
Talking about your troubles it's a crying sin
Ride a painted pony
Let the spinning wheel spin...